We all know how easy it is to come up with some spending money. It’s not a big deal – you start a political party and in a few weeks people start sending you donations. It’s the way the world works, but to listen to the loony lefties going on about “illegal spending this” and “foreign interference that”, you would think that there was something shady about it. Like when they tried to show that the £8 Million-worth of cut diamonds that my mate Aaron Banks stumbled across in his disused diamond mine weren’t totally legitimate. I’m not sure which part of “untraceable” they don’t understand!
And now they ask “has Aaron Banks given you money?” and “who is giving you all this money?” and “how are you getting more money than the Labour party, who have hundreds of thousands of members?” Give it a rest! It’s only three-quarters of a million pounds for goodness sake, and it was all donated in amounts of less than £500.01, so there’s no need to publish who it came from.
Now, I’m as sick of these lefty losers harping on about it as you are, so I’m going to give a few examples of donations from the ordinary decent folks (who definitely aren’t Aaron Banks), who have been so generous to our new party:
- 1 April 2019 : £500 from Mrs. Nora Banask
- 2 April 2019 : £500 from Mr. A. Bonkasar
- 3 April 2019 : £500 from Miss. Ann Rasboka
- 4 April 2019 : £500 from Ms. Anna Krobas
- 5 April 2019 : £500 from Mr. Roban Sanka
And so on. As you can see, all totally above board. To the 1,500 people (who definitely aren’t Aaron Banks), who all donated exactly £500 I say “thanks mate. I’ll buy you a pint down the pub later.”